When I arrived at Seminary of the Southwest, there was a lot that impressed me – the park-like campus, the sense of community, the cookies. But nothing – and I mean nothing – impressed me more than the amazing displays of facial hair. There is some serious shagginess going on here. These guys have everything from 5 o’clock shadows to full-on Santa Claus. 

Some people love their beards so much. You can tell that whiskers make them happy.

Deliriously cheerful. Look at those smiles!

Others take a more philosophical approach to their goatees. Being unshaven can make you look and feel more…scholarly. Right?

I know all of those guys and they are probably thinking about theology or politics…or the cookies they had at lunch. Those are some erudite beards.

Beards can take over your life.

They require a lot of maintenance.

‘Stash wax, even.

But it’s worth it.

<– Seriously, check it out.

Beards. If you don’t have one, they look so tempting.

Happy and a scholar? Yes, please!

I have several new friends who just moved to Texas from other states. They asked and have been told about where to get the best BBQ, and they’ve learned about the odd quirks of our streets-that-change-names-every-couple-of-miles. The longer they live here, the greater the odds that they will learn how to two-step, where to catch great live music, and that tacos for breakfast, too.

There is one thing, however, that I have been urging them to experience while they are here and they just don’t seem to understand it’s cultural importance. I am speaking about going to Buc’ee’s. If you have to ask why, it means you have not been yet. You really should go.

Buc’ee’s is a roadside refuge, but not just a place to fill your tank and stretch your legs. Whenever you drive between Texas towns, it is important to make sure your route will pass a Buc’ee’s or the trip will be incomplete.

Now, I need to make it clear to the newcomers (the natives will know this already) which Buc’ee’s I am talking about. You might drive down the highway and see a regular looking gas station/convenience store with a sign that says, “Buc’ee’s.” But that is NOT WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. Why would I send you to regular? I am sending you someplace extraordinary. You will know you are headed to the right place when you see huge billboards announcing, “Clean Restrooms Ahead. We Guaranpee It! 21 Miles” (And that is true. You should have a serious talk with your bladder about timing your stop to meet this need – it is worth it.) I was headed toward the town of Waller and passed a sign that said, “Waller You Waiting For? 8 Miles.” Buc’ees loves a good pun.

And then, there it was:

That is just the side entrance.

You can tell you are at the right place because IT IS AS BIG AS A HOME DEPOT. Maybe even a Walmart. It is immediately evident that this will be more than a pit stop, it will be a life changing road trip experience.

Doesn’t that sound appetizing?

Before you actually enter, you may think to yourself, “I wonder what kind of snack I can buy myself at Buc’ee’s?” Because that is what most people do when they go to a convenience store along the highway. In fact, Buc’ee’s has its own brand of snacks, the most famous if which are the Beaver Nuggets:

But there is so much more.
So. Much. More.

At Buc’ee’s, you can find back-to-school fashion, napkins for your next fancy cocktail party and – y’all! – Texas-themed birdhouses for your Christian birds.

So far, you might think Buc’ee’s isn’t that much better than any other stop along the road. And you really need to be getting on your way…except, haven’t you been thinking about redecorating your house? And wouldn’t it be convenient if you could do that now, while you are driving away from your house? At a place that also sells snacks and birdhouses? What if you could get a beaded cow skull, faux-leather pillows, and charming wooden signs for the walls in your new Texas home? What if you could get placemat, napkins and a table runner featuring the Texas bluebonnet? Or a faux leather shower curtain and matching towels? WHAT IF YOU COULD GET THIS ALL IN ONE PLACE?

Friends, you can:

Perhaps you need to take it up a notch. All those decorative items are just a little too tame for you?

Okay. Why don’t you treat yourself to a cowhide? Because they sell those at Buc’ee’s.

Cowhides.

At the highway gas station/convenience store. (You can also get a mirror with a cowhide frame.)

And that isn’t even all -I could go on all day. Camo-themed items of all sorts. Everything imaginable in the shape of Texas – wooden things, stone things, soap things, lots and lots of Texas-shaped things. There is framed “art” on the walls leading to the famous bathrooms. And, of course, you can get your own Buc’ee to take home.

As someone who likes to learn about obscure saints – especially through my fav Lenten devotion Lent Madness – it occurs to me that I have been remiss in my studies. For many, many years I have given and received, made and purchased Valentine cards for my loved ones, but not given a thought to the saint that this greeting-card and special-menu holiday honors. Well, today it is time to fill the lacuna in my saintly knowledge. And yours as well. Here is what I found out:

Valentine was a Roman dude. Or maybe two. And he was a priest. Or a bishop. No one knows for sure. But he was martyred for his faith and maybe also because he married couples in defiance of the law. In any case, poor Valentine was tortured and beheaded. Not to make light (well, maybe to make light) but it seems like many people experience similar feelings today when they observe his day – they give all they’ve got for loved ones and get, well, cut off.

For all his bravery and miracles (he cured his jailer’s blind daughter!), he has been made the patron saint of engaged couples and beekeepers, among other things. And, since I got married on St. Valentine’s Day, I happen to know from observance that he seems also to be the patron saint of Bridezillas. I promise I was well-behaved on my wedding day, but anyone who has been to a reception or hotel lobby on that day can tell you, it is full of people martyred by brides. I myself was witness to such a martyrdom when a new bride forced her entire wedding party to re-enact their hotel arrival three times until it looked the way she wanted on video.

Tread lightly on February 14th. Send some nice cards and chocolates. No matter how loved or abandoned you feel, be glad you have not been martyred for your faith or someone else’s wedding fantasy. Also, consider the beekeepers, who have a patron saint celebrated with chocolate and not honey.